In old age, the years are like songs and the world is like smoke. For many elderly parents, they often choose to rely on their children and spend their remaining years in their children’s homes.
However, sometimes parents’ good intentions may go astray, causing unnecessary trouble and conflicts to themselves and their children.
In your later years, it is best not to do the following three things at your children’s homes.
01: Don’t interfere too much in your children’s family life
The boy’s mother always interferes too much in his marriage and lifestyle, and makes things difficult for the boy many times after he brings his girlfriend home, trying to control her son’s feelings.
The girlfriend broke up with the boy out of desperation. The mother’s excessive interference brought great trouble and pressure to the son. In the end, he did not resist his mother, but he was no longer willing to get married and have children.
Parents are the roots of their children, and children are the branches of their parents.
However, as we enter our old age, we need to understand that our children have already started families and have their own lifestyles and plans.
Interfering too much in their family life will not only make them feel constrained and stressed, but also cause tension in family relationships.
We should give them enough space and respect to let them enjoy their family life freely.
02: Don’t rely too much on your children’s financial support
A chinese TV series “Ode to Joy” tells the life of five girls with very different personalities in Shanghai. Among them, Fan Shengmei’s mother was a rural woman who favored sons over daughters. She treated her children very unfairly.
After Fan Shengmei started working, her mother kept asking her for money to buy a house and a wife for her brother. In the end, Fan Shengmei drew a line with her vampire family and learned to pursue happiness on her own.
Once we reach our senior years, financial issues often become our focus. However, we should understand that our children are not our financial dependence.
Overreliance on the financial support of our children will not only place a heavy burden on them, but also weaken our own dignity and self-reliance.
We should strive to maintain economic independence and solve life problems through our own efforts and wisdom.
03: Don’t impose your own wishes on your children
An other chinese TV drama “Little Joy” is a popular family drama that sharply displays various problems in Chinese education. Among them, Yingzi and her mother are the epitome of many parents and children.
Yingzi is a very good student, but her mother will still make strict study plans for Yingzi, hoping that Yingzi can be admitted to a prestigious university.
For this reason, she spared no effort and ignored Yingzi’s wish to apply for astronomy. As mothers and daughters, we often think that our wishes are for the good of our children, but sometimes we ignore their real thoughts and needs.
In our later years, we should respect our children’s choices and decisions and not impose our own wishes on them.
Our children are independent individuals and have the right to pursue their own happiness and ideals. We should give them support and encouragement rather than restrictions and constraints.
In our later years, we should understand that our children have matured and have their own lives, families and careers.
The premise of all love is to respect each other’s independent personality. Parents should not interfere too much in their children’s family life, rely too much on their children’s financial support, or impose their own wishes on their children.
Many parents do these three things in their children’s homes with “good intentions” in the name of loving their children, but this kind of love is just arsenic, cheating both others and themselves.
In old age, people have long understood their destiny, worry less and enjoy more blessings, and believe that their children and grandchildren will have their own blessings.