The simplest and most common family is usually a family of three. Parents and children can live happily together. let’s know about Why does the relationship between husband and wife get worse after giving birth to a child?
For newlyweds, whether or not to have children and when to have children is the first question before the newlyweds. However, many young couples do not realize that the arrival of a child will also usher in a lot of problems. In addition to the chores of taking care of the child, sometimes it will also have a negative impact on the relationship between the couple.
In a social survey in the United States, 92% of people said that conflicts between couples gradually increased after giving birth to children. The second year after giving birth, 25% of couples’ relationships are in trouble. This does not include separation and divorce.
Why does the relationship between husband and wife get worse after giving birth to a child? How to solve this problem? Please read below.
01. The problem of division of labor.
Newlyweds are generally in the honeymoon period. In their sweet life, the differences in personality and outlook on life between the two parties are basically not exposed. In addition, if they are newly married, any minor frictions will subside quickly.
But generally in the relationship between husband and wife, the honeymoon period is followed by the running-in period. The running-in period usually involves living together for a period of time, a year or several years. The long time together consumes passion, and after getting to know each other better, they start to dislike each other.
However, with the birth of a child, trivial matters also come. There is more cooperation between husband and wife, a finer division of labor, and more trigger points for conflicts.
02. Physiological problems.
After a woman gives birth to a child, she will have ups and downs of mood for a period of time due to hormone imbalance. Sometimes they appear anxious and impatient, while others may feel depressed, easily sad, or even depressed.
A wife’s emotional problems generally require her husband to accommodate them, but not everyone has this awareness.
03. Communication issues.
Parents of school-age children experience less depression and stress than parents of infancy, but most couples still experience declining marital satisfaction.
After a child is born, parents’ focus usually shifts from their partner to their child, especially the mother. This resulted in conflicts that arose during the parenting period not only not being resolved in time, but because attention shifted to the children, the relationship between husband and wife fell to the freezing point again.
The key to marital satisfaction lies in how couples manage the decision-making process. When the baby is born, fighting only creates more problems and disagreements.
During the parenting stage, couples can be said to be partners, and mutual cooperation and respect can determine the success or failure of a marriage.
For partners, the other party’s anger will cause us to fight back. This is instinctive, but fighting back will cause greater conflicts, which is also common sense. Many people only start to regret after a quarrel: “Hey, I knew she was in a bad mood just after giving birth, so I should have given in to her.” or “Why was my mood out of control again? I’m really sorry for him.”
With the benefit of hindsight, the damage has already been done to the relationship between husband and wife, and what should be done is to make amends, not just self-repentance.
If you really want to improve your relationship, you can try this.
1. Solve the problem with your partner when you are calm. Often after a couple fights, they are reluctant to bring up the issue again. But if you don’t, it can linger and resentment can build.
2. If you argue in front of your children, tell them later that you resolved the difference.
3. Make time for your relationship . After the kids are asleep, or you’re free, spend some time with your partner as lovers during your downtime. What it was like when you were in love, what it can be like now. When it comes to managing a marriage relationship, small changes often lead to big changes.
4. Hug your partner. In the early months after the wife gives birth, there is little intimate contact between the couple. To be honest, it’s not necessary. You need to take care of your children and your partner. You can say to your partner, “I just finished holding the baby and am exhausted, but I would love to hold you.” This will allow you to spend more intimate time together.
Finally, I want to say that the purpose of marriage must be the relationship between husband and wife, which is love, happiness and sweetness, and having children is just a by-product. No matter what stage of your marriage you are in, if you get along with your partner like lovers, you will never encounter a marital crisis.
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